Empower Wellness Blog - Erin Tracy - Health Coaching

Setting Boundaries

September 5, 2017 By Erin Tracy, Medical Qi Gong and Health Coaching

Chances are you’ve had times in your life where you regretted not setting boundaries. Or in setting boundaries, you felt like you alienated someone or deserted them. Or perhaps you often feel irritated or resentful that you even have to set boundaries with certain people.

Setting Boundaries to protect your time, well-being, your health, your sleep, etc. can be instrumental in accessing more calm, feeling more peaceful, and getting well. What are some indications that you need to set boundaries with people in your life and acquaintances?

you feel drained in group or some one-on-one interactions.
resentment creeps in when you do things for others that seem to go unappreciated.
other people seem to make you responsible for their feelings and actions
you feel responsible for others’ feelings and emotions and even their choices (hmmm…).
you avoid setting limits and stating end times to interactions because you might seem rude.
you frequently find yourself in situations spending more time and energy than you planned for and therefore something else important on your schedule suffers.
you frequently feel taken advantage of

Set boundaries with strength, peace, and clarity

As someone who struggled with boundary setting for many years, I can relate. Setting boundaries with an open – heart resulted in less interpersonal drama and set the stage for stronger connections with mutual respect.

Set boundaries with LOVE – not irritation. It’s not the other party’s fault that they can’t read your mind or that they aren’t aware of your needs. It’s your job to communicate (kindly and calmly whenever possible) what those needs are.
Setting clear, calm, and open-hearted boundaries helps let go of the notion that we can control how others respond to our communicated boundaries.
Be clear that other people don’t control your emotions. If the same situation with the same people activates feelings in you that you don’t enjoy, then change the situation or change the way you look at it.
Don’t take personally that people operate from their own set of assumptions.
When it’s time for you to leave, do so and leave martyr-like stories (expressed or in your head) out of it.

This list while SIMPLE is not always EASY to implement. If we can set clear boundaries with a calm and open-hearted intention that honors our own time, space, and our health needs, we can more fully show up for others to support them when needed. Setting boundaries with kindness is SELF-CARE and NOT SELFISH.

This point of view may be new to you or even creating some cognitive dissonance. Yet, you may also be feeling that fully claiming a new paradigm around these ideas could be quite FREEING for you.

Contact me. I love talking to people (no obligation ever to explore) about how transformative change around setting boundaries can affect their energy, health, and well-being.

I Am More Than Enough

July 26, 2017 By Erin Tracy, Medical Qi Gong and Health Coaching

I am more than enough. I have what I need. I have gratitude for the abundance in my life.

Recognizing those truths in my core being has been instrumental in my own healing, reclaiming my joy, overcoming my anxiety and resolving some health issues. It hasn’t been easy and there are still times when my old patterns and beliefs come to the forefront of my consciousness and affect my actions.

The old patterns were based on a myth of scarcity and a general long held belief that, in all things, there was a lack of abundance. These patterns shaped everything I did for much of my life and I would venture a guess that they have played a big part in the lives of most everyone I know.

It is so easy to start the day from this “not enough” viewpoint: not enough sleep.

This can very easily become an overarching sentiment of the day. There’s not enough time. I don’t have enough energy, That’s too expensive. I am not worthy enough. I didn’t exercise enough, work enough, love enough, get loved enough, etc.

Lynne Twist talks about 3 Damaging Myths about scarcity that keep us from feeling abundance in our lives.

1) There’s not enough and that someone is going lose

2) More is better

3) That’s just the way it is and it’s never going to change.

Sound familiar? Most people nod their head when these myths are pointed out. It can be a challenge to embrace the idea that they may not be true.

What if the truth is that there IS enough time, money, love, nourishment, sleep, etc?

Take sleep, for example. What if it’s true that in order for you to get enough sleep no one else has to suffer? There’s enough sleep (or insert another thing you believe there isn’t enough of). There are people who live at what we would consider “poverty level” and they GET THIS. They don’t live their lives from a place of lack or scarcity. Even though our standards might consider them “impoverished”, they have peace in their lives, they are connected to their inner wisdom, and they have a resilience that many financially “better off” people have never known.

So how to break free from the myths? Especially from the last myth I listed – “That’s just the way it is and it isn’t ever going to change”? This myth can be part of the reason that we can’t let go of patterns that are no longer servicing us. In fact, we must realize our power to change what we can. Where can we affect the biggest change in our control with far-reaching effects? Change what is on the inside – our internal landscape/climate/chatter.

How can we shift our inner landscape?

Gratitude: Find the grace for what you have NOW. Find gratitude for your blessings in your life, for the things that are going well. What if you were grateful for everything in your life? Even for the things in your life that you have decided are terrible. [NB: I get that some people have had horrendous things happen to them. It is possible, though, not to have those events set the tone for everything else.] Perhaps there was some lesson or hidden opportunity. Notice your abundance and blessings. When you find the gratitude, even in small ways, for all of it, notice what happens!

“You AND Me” not “You OR Me”: What if the intention of the human species was not competition but cooperation? How does that change EVERYTHING? What if every interaction we trusted that we were going receive what we needed and so would anyone else involved in that interaction. What if more of life was a Win-Win?

If you are finding that you are experiencing resistance to shifting a scarcity mindset, you wouldn’t be the first person.

What beliefs are holding you back from a feeling of abundance and having and being more than enough? Where does anxiety about not having enough keep you from enjoying even the simple things? What would it take for you to change your story?

Contact me to schedule a complimentary consultation to include some breakthrough coaching strategies to begin to identify that might be limiting you or keeping you in a feeling of “stuck”. Being willing to let go of some old stories that are not serving you anymore, opens up an evolution in your health and happiness.

The Fearful Mind

July 9, 2017 By Erin Tracy, Medical Qi Gong and Health Coaching

Place the fearful mind in the cradle of loving—kindness. Pema Chödrön

This message is a wonderful reminder of the power of mindfulness and a wide-open heart.

It is a reminder that we are held and we are safe. Keep moving forward even in the presence of the fearful mind.

I posted this quote on my Facebook page and asked people to share what it meant to them. You can see all the responses here and add one of your own.

Excerpts:

ah………sigh of relief | Acceptance | Surrender into love | When we step out in love, faith, God will not only catch us but cradle us. | Be gentle with yourself. Nurture your needs and the fears will release. | It’s all gonna work out. I got you. | to love oneself and to be kind to oneself | …Foundational bed of compassion | Vibrancy and aliveness – that is the state in which the body truly desires to be. | As you love and do for others you will feel love and peace in your heart and soul | And we have known & believed the love God has to us. God is love. 1John 4:16 | There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear; because fear has torment. 1John 4:18 | placing of the brain in a wooden cradle

What does it mean to trust and accept the fear that we inevitably feel?

When I feel the grip of fear, I can lessen the grip by noticing that fear, feeling it. Breathing into it. Yep – I’m talking about getting closer to it. It is a very BRAVE thing to get closer to our fears.

Being mindful means that we are more open to trusting the present moment.

Mindfulness reminders seem to be everywhere these days. And yet SO many friends, family, and clients tell me that they can’t quiet the brain enough to be mindful. Mindfulness doesn’t mean that the mind is empty.

Watch the thoughts and stories about what is happening… The present moment may be full of all kinds of emotions, thoughts, and judgements. It may be full of paralyzing fear.

Fear that brings out your aggression.
Fear that distracts you from your goals.
Fear that leads you to chose behaviors that let you numb out.

When we can be mindful about our fear, we might find that we gain some perspective and we may feel a little less tight and we find some courage.

We might even begin to notice that our limiting beliefs that keep us in fear and anxiety MAY NOT BE TRUE.

In order to feel less rigid and trapped by our fear, it can be very helpful to look at what we DO when we feel fear. Sure, there is the fight-flight-freeze reaction that is programed into our critter brains. Our ancestors needed these reactions to survive. And those survival instincts are important, but the reality is that in our western-living milieu, there typically is NOT a giant BEAR threatening us.

Still, when our first-world fears come up, it can truly feel like a bear is coming after us. So, when we aren’t practiced in being mindful of our fear, we REACT.

What do we often choose in the face of fear?

Materialism: Do you tend to default to purely materialistic aspects when fear comes up and overrides attempts to be mindful? This looks like overspending, the pursuit of physical comfort, creating a sense of security and over-indulging the desire for pleasure.
Attach to Rigid Beliefs: This is tricky because we can be fooled into linking our beliefs with our identity. Our beliefs can actually limit ourselves. I am talking about political, religious, pragmatic beliefs. If you find yourself with feelings of self-righteousness or indignation, that tension may be keeping your from letting your fears have less grip on your living your life.
Escape to special states of mind: It can be easy to use special states of mind to hide behind when we feel fear. These include chemically induced states through drugs or alcohol. Even “spiritual” states brought about through yoga, meditation, prayer, centering practices, can be used as a way to try to skip engaging with our fears head on. We may “feel better” but we haven’t addressed the core – the feeling and root of the fear.

I mention these things only to bring your awareness to what you do when you feel fear. If you are going into judgement about yourself if you see yourself in these choices, I invite you to let that go. There is great personal power in identifying what your patterns are and how they are and are not serving you.

As the fearful mind shows up, notice it – greet it.

Would you consider:

feeling the fears in your heart with loving-kindness?
there is nothing inadequate about you for having those fears?
perhaps beliefs that are keeping you in fear aren’t really TRUE?
that the fear is an opportunity to evolve? To grow? To learn?

Trust the QUALITY of the experience – stay with the moment. Watching the mind (mindfulness) brings us back to the present moment.

“Place the fearful mind in the cradle of loving kindness…”

Peace be with you.

Turning Point

June 2, 2017 By Erin Tracy, Medical Qi Gong and Health Coaching

A few years ago, I needed a Turning Point. I struggled with moderate-to-severe digestive issues, chronic pain, insomnia, constant skin rashes, and high blood pressure. I was not yet 40 years old. Joy was missing from my life – however I was in such a constant state of anxiety and overwhelm, I didn’t even know that joy was missing. I had martyr-like tendencies where I stayed ruffled, felt unappreciated, and a claimed myself a victim of circumstance.

Somewhere in the back of mind, deep in my heart, was this truth.

I have recently been reconnected to it through one of my teachers, Qi Gong Master Ou.

Emptied, free from antipathy

Deeply, quietly humble

Steady, unwavering calm

So that I May Be Filled with Unconditional Love

This wisdom above, a common sentiment from many different faiths, was something that I have strived my entire life to embody. However, as my stress level was through the roof, my health was declining, and a constant state of “not enough” pervaded all that I did, I couldn’t connect to this sentiment which I first learned through my own faith, Christianity.

*Empty – free from antipathy; deeply, quietly, humble; steady unwavering calm.*

I knew that I needed to find ways to manage the stress of my family life, my health, and being self-employed in a family business.

I understood that I needed to re-connect to calm with an open and tolerant heart for what I was experiencing. I longed for a way to enjoy life again and to feel well. Although I sought guidance, experienced many approaches, and learned many tools, (and they helped a little), my health concerns and anxiety continued to plague me.

Then, in March 2012, My Turning Point.

I learned Pangu Shengong Foundational Qi Cultivation Moving Form Qi Gong from Qi Gong Master Wen Wei Ou. This highly effective, efficient, and balncing practice of energy cultivation, woke up some forgotten part of me. Immediately, I felt hope returning. My blood pressure regulated within two weeks. Other health issues began to improve. My ability to relax and enjoy moments in life returned. Spiritual teachings began to make sense and my faith (that I didn’t know I had lost) was found again.

I know now that the reason that I could not experience this level of calm before, was that I didn’t possess enough foundational energy. I was quite literally depleted and out of balance.

The very interesting, curious, and fairly unique thing about this Qi Gong practice is that Pangu Shengong foundational Moving Form has this mantra/prayer/password at its core:

Take Kindness and Benevolence as Basis; Take Frankness and Friendliness to Heart.

This idea of kindness and unconditional love begins to strengthen and heal the heart and soul beyond just the physical body. While I understand that other Qi Gong methods can help support and heal the physical body, the power behind the central tenet cannot be underestimated. It is one of the many aspects of Pangu Shengong Moving Form Qi Gong that allows it to be so immediately helpful and settling for the practitioner.

I am in the best health of my life. I am the happiest I can ever remember being. I sleep well and wake up rested. I have enough energy to do the things I choose to do in a day. While life still has its stressors, I allow the circumstances of the moment. Generally, I have the peace of mind to “roll with things” yet diligently persevere with my calling and responsibilities.

Pangu Shengong is a gift that I am thankful for every day.

It continues to strengthen me and allow me to deeply learn and integrate so that I can support others.

I hope you will take advantage of this upcoming opportunity as Master Ou returns to Raleigh this month. Here’s the registration page.

Please contact me if you are unsure which classes are best for you.

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