Do you give your personal power away?

What would it take to decide to never beat yourself up again with negative self-talk? How would making that decision change how you go through your day?

You may be wondering what being kind to yourself has to do with ending chronic patterns of pain, anxiety and emotional suffering, and chronic health challenges (i.e. what I typically talk and write about).

It actually has a great deal to do with healing.

When we have a difficult time giving ourselves a break, recognizing our own self-efficacy, loving what we look like, or recovering from a mistake we made, we are in effect, feeding a victim mentality.

We are feeding a pattern of self-pity. And that pattern leads to stress, which can affect our health and anxiety long-term.

Question: What do we GET from long-term self pity?

Answer: Absolutely nothing; Nothing except suffering.

In fact, self-loathing (which all that negative thought and talk is) is actually an abdication of responsibility.

You are giving your personal power away to the circumstances.

When I first heard that perspective, I had to let that sink in – not just into the meaning of the words intellectually, but to let it sink into my heart.

The thing is, that many of us have been running scripts, and programs, and patterns of negative self-talk and self-pity that we don’t even realize how these negative self-engagement patterns affect our anxiety level and ultimately our health.

Imagine this: We cultivate unconditional love, grace, and acceptance for ourselves for the past, the present, and the future, so that we:

-Never stay angry when someone let us down;

-Fix our own mistakes or poor choice of words by taking easy responsibility;

-Forgive ourselves, and move on;

-Are not affected by the words of others meant to hurt us – same goes for the words of others not intending to hurt us;

-Realize when someone is trying to manipulate us (consciously or unconsciously) and handle it diplomatically with groundedness and no drama;

-Do not blame others for the way we feel and therefore move through dense emotional states very quickly;

-Trust that we can figure out every challenge that comes our way;

-Do not spend one moment worrying about what other people think of us.

I talk to many people who are aware of their own self-deprecating thoughts and how it affects their peace, clarity of thought, expression of anger and frustration. They KNOW that negative self-talk and low self-worth are part of their suffering.

I also talk to many people who aren’t aware of this cause and effect.

Wherever YOU may be in that continuum, I invite you to try a practice that can help you access and choose self-love:

Look for something to love about everyone you meet. Something to adore about them. OR something to admire.

Acknowledge that characteristic (whether it be materialistic, disposition, or character trait, etc) – WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.

Of course, many of you will be saying, “Oh, but what about [my ex, my boss, manipulative co-worker/neighbor], politician]; there is NOTHING to even LIKE (let alone “adore”) about [THAT] person.”

And to that, I say, “Really? NOTHING?”

This is where I give you permission to do something radical:

For just a moment, drop all judgment, disgust, resentment, pity, anger, or loathing for that other person.

And remember them as a young child, born innocently into this life. See them with the grace that God/Creator/Universe undoubtedly sees them. Even if you don’t believe in God/Creator, you can still access the inherent compassion that is in our DNA.

Just for a moment.

When we start to practice this habit of finding something to LOVE about everyone we meet, we start to be able to do this for OURSELVES.

Trust. Compassion for yourself and others absolutely feels better than judgment, pity, loathing.

This ease and grace allows you to respond to what happens (all of it) in a calm and open-minded and open-hearted fashion.

And guess what? That leads to less anxiety – eventually. And better health and more energy…

When you are ready to suffer less, and regard the challenges you face as CATALYSTS, you will choose THAT.

I work with people who are aware that what’s going on in their minds is causing much of their suffering, but they have been unable (on their own or with countless interventions) to alleviate that suffering so that they can have less anxiety impacting their lives and their health and have more EASE, PEACE, and JOY. I show you how to close the gap between what you KNOW and HOW you are living your life.

Reach out via email, private message via Facebook messenger, if you would like to explore working together.

You can also join my private facebook group, Loving Living FREEDOM for more information and to learn more about my approach to healing anxiety, anger, and overwhelm.

Much love,

Erin